The Centrifuge

You decide that it’s smartest to hit the kill switch. It’s just out of arm’s reach though... Plus, you won’t be able to hang on any longer. The only way you can make this work is if you run a few steps, just long enough to hit the button. You take a deep breath. Like a clash of lightning, you slam the first foot onto the treadmill. Then the second. Then the first again. This is it! You can do it! Just one more st— *SLAM* Whoops, looks like you tripped. You feel yourself slip backwards a bit, and try your hardest to hold onto the sides of the machine. Fortunately, you manage to keep yourself from flying off. Unfortunately, you feel something pinch the front of your feet. Looks like the treadmill had the last laugh after all. You can feel your feet get pulled onto the other side of the belt, flattening as it passes under the machine. Every second means even more of you gets fed through. Your grip, tight as it is, means that you’re even getting stretched as you go. Eventually though, you can’t take it anymore, and you succumb to the treadmill’s strength. You feel the rest of your body feed through, flattening you directly onto the belt like a giant ribbon of tape. You even manage to overlap yourself several times. You get threaded through hundreds of times more, each round pressing you further and further into the belt. After nearly an hour of your “workout,” the machine finally powers off on its own, leaving you trapped as a new cover. You’ll probably be assisting with several astronauts’ exercise routines for several months to come. This is exactly what happens when you use the equipment irresponsibility.


Marathon Veteran!


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