The Slide

You decide to go down the slide. It's a loooong way up! When you eventually reach the top of the spiralling behemoth, you leap before thinking, ignoring the attendant dutifully handing you a mat to sit on. You cheer with excitement as you slip and slide through the twists and turns, but you swear you can smell burning... Is that bacon? Maybe grilled chicken...?

As you turn your head, you realise your backside is alight! You try to put it out with your hands but you keep banging and smacking around the insides of the slide. With no way to put out the flame, you swear you start to feel a sinking feeling... It's like you're getting tinier or at least... losing your consistency.

Starting with your bum, you turn into a squishy, goopy like substance with the consistency of jelly. You start to cry out for help as your voice sounds mushy and gooey like you're eating a bowl of oatmeal.

At the bottom of the slide, you pour out onto the safety mat as a weasel park attendant tuts. He scoops you up with the minimalist of efforts, getting part of your sloppy self on his uniform. “They don't pay me enough to deal with people who don't follow the rules” he complains as he pours you into a jar, labelling you as a “Rule Breaker.” Maybe next time you decide to go slipping and sliding, you should at least follow the safety precautions! At least you'll have enough time to lament your previous decision as you swash around, trying to ignore the laughter of other park goers at your expense.

Slippery Slope!